Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Breaking via Instagram:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Breaking via Instagram:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Shared recently on Threads:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Making waves on Instagram:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Trending via Messenger:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Live now on TikTok:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't wait for that top-tier disappointment! 🤣💔🙌

disappointment, expectation, forward, greeting, hi, humor, i, letting, much, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

0

2 months ago

activity, building, culture, drinking, exercise, fun, happy, happy hour, hour, i, office, office culture, only, team, team building, work, working
I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

0

2 months ago

affection, awkward, awkward situation, bathroom, humor, i, love, matter, relationship, shower, situation, surprise, trying
I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

0

2 months ago

chances, fat, humor, i, irony, Jim, preferences, slim
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

0

2 months ago

better, competition, cycling, cyclist, faster, humor, i, me, run, shark, speed, swim, triathlon
How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

0

3 months ago

am, anxiety, distraction, humor, i, procrastination, relax, stress, things
Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

0

2 months ago

appearance, behavior, clothes, dog, funny observation, home, homeless, humor, knows, leaving, nice, observation, only, pet, pet behavior, put

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Discord this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

84 shares on WeChat this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

65 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Spotted on X:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Going viral on Discord:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Just landed via YouTube:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Live now on YouTube:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨