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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Shared recently on X:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Trending via Reddit:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Making waves on WeChat:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Breaking via Facebook:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Spotted on Reddit:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't wait for that top-tier disappointment! 🤣💔🙌

disappointment, expectation, forward, greeting, hi, humor, i, letting, much, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

0

2 months ago

best, fun, getting, having, humor, irony, job, leisure, life, me, sarcastic, thing, whole, work
The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

0

2 months ago

communication, faster, gossip, humor, speed, technology, town, Wi-Fi, wifi
If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

0

2 months ago

advice, family, follow, give, hack, humor, just, kid, me, parenting, play, sibling, toy, want
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, dispatch, event, feeling, FOMO, going, going out, hear, humor, knowing, once, opposite, regret, right, social, social event, somewhere
I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, cream, dessert, humor, ice, ice cream, inside, scoop, secret, secret club, social, social activity, surprise
God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

0

2 months ago

animals, chicken, creation, duck, give, God, humor, kazoo, waterproof

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

51 shares on X this month:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

20 shares on Discord this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

50 shares on TikTok this month:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

18 shares on X this month:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨