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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My middle finger salutes you.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Going viral on YouTube:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Just shared via WeChat:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I better start live-streaming my bathroom breaks to keep up! 🚽😂📱

25, daily, daily routine, day, frequency, humor, i, media, only, pee, people, post, posting, routine, social, social media, thing, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

0

5 months ago

back, being, break, break up, cool, cool stuff, date, dating, humor, i, lame, lingo, relationship, shit, slang, stuff, taught
Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

0

2 months ago

decision, due, humor, personal, personal reason, problem, reason, reasons
I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

0

2 months ago

act, another, bee, date, give, heart, humor, i, never, relationship, trust, woman
Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

0

2 months ago

dog, family, grandpa, humor, joke, loud, nickname, pet, snore
Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

0

2 months ago

character, characters, entertainment, excuse, fictional, fictional character, humor, i, invested, kiss, over, plans, procrastination, relationship, social, social plans, sorry, tonight, too
Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, actually, better, government, humor, lying, pond, strange, strange woman, sword, system, woman, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

58 shares on Threads this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

33 shares on X this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Just shared via TikTok:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Just shared via Slack:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Spotted on Instagram:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Going viral on WeChat:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨