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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Spotted on X:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Trending via WeChat:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Going viral on X:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Trending via Instagram:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Seen just now on Discord:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Spotted on Reddit:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

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I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕺🎉 "When 'Mazel Tov' is your biggest vibe, but the rest is just your shower-singing material! 😂🎶 #SelectiveTunes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tested positive for being single af

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Going viral on Instagram:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Broadcasted on X:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Seen just now on Threads:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Trending via Discord:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Making waves on Telegram:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

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