Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,233

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Trending via Reddit:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Just shared via Messenger:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Seen just now on Slack:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'm the captain of the S.S. Optimism, sailing straight into the iceberg of reality! 🚢🤔🧊

argument, arguments, change, change mind, communication, correct, data, debate, fact, facts, i, illness, logic, me, mental, mental illness, mind, minds, people, persuasion, present, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

0

2 months ago

fix, frustration, help, humor, improve, Instagram, media, nice, own, sarcasm, social, social media, tech, try, us, website
Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, dating, doing, friendship, girls, humor, humor quote, Instagram, jealousy, media, never, relationship, social, social media, something, soon, stop, unfollow
It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

0

3 days ago

attention, attention seeker, birthday, conversation, embarrassing, embarrassment, every, feel, humor, me, need, seeker, tell, today
Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

0

2 months ago

before, communication, education, grammar, humor, internet, nostalgia, only, people, punctuation, remember, spelling
You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, convenience, dirt, floor, home, humor, leave, let, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, shower, squirrels, stay
Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

0

2 months ago

bed, breakfast, current, humor, laziness, lying, manifest, morning, relaxing, situation, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Trending via YouTube:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Going viral on Twitch:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Shared recently on X:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Spotted on Reddit:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Going viral on Instagram:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Trending via Pinterest:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨