Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Just landed via X:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Just shared via TikTok:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Just shared via Twitch:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Trending via Telegram:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Trending via Twitch:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When we unleash our inner sarcastic dueling skills, it's the Olympics of wit! 🥇😏

argument, attitude, back, comebacks, conversation, even, humor, i, insult, nice, nothing, promise, remark, sarcasm, say, something, witty, witty remark, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

0

2 months ago

beverage, caffeine, coffee, drink, energized, even, feel, game, humor, i, just, love, me, routine
My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

0

2 months ago

browser, confusion, frozen, humor, i, idea, mind, multitasking, music, open, tabs, technology, web, web browser
I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, i, let, outdoors, people, pretty, self-love, should, today, walk
“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

0

2 months ago

apple, better, children, comparison, humor, life, loyalty, music, okay, playlists, quality, sound, Spotify
You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, man, relationship, self-awareness, situationship, texting
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

0

2 days ago

childhood, ever, humor, i, kid, little, melancholy, nostalgia, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Just shared via Twitch:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Just landed via Discord:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Making waves on Twitch:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Making waves on Messenger:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Live now on Facebook:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Breaking via Snapchat:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Just shared via YouTube:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨