Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Self-care? More like spell-care! ⚡️✨ Who needs face masks when you've got magic wands? 🔮💁‍♂️ Time to add some abracadabra to that morning routine! ✨💫 #PrioritiesShifted"

done, growth, humor, learn, magic, personal, personal growth, self-care, spells, time, transformation, witchcraft

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

0

5 months ago

away, closing, door, exit, humor, loud, noise, poetry, sound, subtlety, too, walking, walking away
Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

0

2 months ago

call, creativity, excuse, honesty, humor, i, procrastination, simple, used, work
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

0

5 months ago

arm, arm fat, body, body positivity, confidence, fat, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, playing, positivity, self-love
Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

0

2 months ago

anti-stress, balls, breast, breasts, device, female, humor, irony, nature, stress
Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

0

4 months ago

Adele, away, cloud, drifting, fluffy, hard, lullaby, morning, night, sleeping, soft, while, why
Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

0

4 weeks ago

appreciate, appreciation, eye, having, humor, irritation, man, observation, perspective, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

23 shares on Slack this month:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Breaking via Facebook:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Spotted on Instagram:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Spotted on X:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Spotted on YouTube:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨