I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.