Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Trending via Reddit:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Live now on Telegram:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Just landed via TikTok:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like this book is on tap for success! 🍺📚 Cheers to more 'inspiration'!" 🍻😂

activity, alcohol, beer, book, drafts, drinking, fun, fun activity, humor, humor about alcohol, lot, through, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

0

2 months ago

aviation, choices, cockpit, context, decide, decision, humor
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

0

1 month ago

2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude
Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

0

2 months ago

aging, am, annoyance, annoying, getting, humor, i, just, observation, older, people, sarcasm
There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace
Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

0

2 days ago

anything, dethroned, font, humor, never, new, real, roman, society, times, Times New Roman, typeface, typography
If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, me, pale, reply, response, shocked, someone, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

36 shares on X this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

61 shares on Discord this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Trending via TikTok:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Trending via WeChat:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

Breaking via Facebook:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Making waves on X:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Trending via TikTok:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨