Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Trending via Twitch:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Just shared via YouTube:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Seen just now on Slack:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Making waves on YouTube:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Just landed via Threads:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about writing a book on beer, highlighting humorous struggles with drafts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like this book is on tap for success! 🍺📚 Cheers to more 'inspiration'!" 🍻😂

activity, alcohol, beer, book, drafts, drinking, fun, fun activity, humor, humor about alcohol, lot, through, writing

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Messenger this month:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

38 shares on Slack this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

28 shares on Discord this month:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Just shared via YouTube:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Just landed via Telegram:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Just shared via Instagram:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Just landed via Instagram:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Just landed via X:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨