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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Havenโ€™t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Itโ€™s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

They should list at least one alien โ€œas himselfโ€ in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

If my fingers donโ€™t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Discord:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Breaking via YouTube:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Iโ€™m not a 10. Iโ€™m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Spotted on X:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Iโ€™m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake Iโ€™ve ever made, instead.

Imagine hating me and Iโ€™m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

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Commentary:
"Talk about a classic case of misdirection! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Sounds like a real-life 'push-pull' relationship dilemma ๐Ÿ˜‚ Who knew a simple door could create such chaos! ๐Ÿšช #PushingMyLuck"

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Social Media Stars โญ

100 shares on Slack this month:

I donโ€™t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

21 shares on Discord this month:

When someone has โ€œDo Not Disturbโ€ on, itโ€™s like, oh, okay, I didnโ€™t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

41 shares on X this month:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

16 shares on WeChat this month:

โ€œYou let your cat on the bed?โ€ I would put her on my life insurance.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didnโ€™t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other peopleโ€ฆ together.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so donโ€™t try to tell me Iโ€™m not romantic.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Called myself to see if Iโ€™d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Itโ€™s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Iโ€™m eating sandwiches you havenโ€™t heard of in jeans you canโ€™t pronounce.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has copied:

Forget about โ€œlong story shortโ€โ€ฆ Iโ€™m gonna start saying โ€œshort story long,โ€ and take you on a journey you didnโ€™t ask for.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Pinterest:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Just landed via Facebook:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Going viral on X:

Thereโ€™s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Trending via Reddit:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Making waves on Twitch:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Freshly posted on Slack:

No, thanksโ€”social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Making waves on Slack:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like heโ€™s one of the cats.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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