Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Trending via Reddit:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Spotted on Slack:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Just landed via Threads:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Freshly posted on X:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Making waves on X:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Breaking via Instagram:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If pajamas and coffee cups became a fashion trend, I'd be on the cover of Vogue by now! ☕😴🛋️

acceptable, casual, casual wear, coffee, coffee cup, comfort, cup, daily, daily routine, day, holding, humor, norm, pajama, pajamas, relaxation, routine, social, social norm, socially, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, friendship, humor, i, mean, miscommunication, never, reach, reaching, reaching out, social, social awkwardness, thought, thoughtfulness
The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

0

2 months ago

80s, after, bands, cat, cats, decade, hearing, humor, man, music, naming, nostalgia, predator, problem, problems, wild
I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

0

3 months ago

20s, 25, 30s, 35, actually, age, decade, humor, life, life stage, perception, self, self-perception, stage
One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

0

2 months ago

again, clutter, digital, digital clutter, humor, i, irony, memory, need, never, organization, procrastination, screenshot, swear, talent, technology
“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, dating, future, God, humor, husband, know, relationship, stalker, wants, woman
I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

0

2 months ago

bees, comedy, fear, girl, humor, i, irrational, movy, My Girl, rational, saw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

95 shares on X this month:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

About to form my very first opinion.

Making waves on Discord:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Making waves on YouTube:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Just landed via Instagram:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Making waves on Slack:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Just shared via X:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Live now on Discord:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨