Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Spotted on X:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Just landed via Telegram:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Just shared via YouTube:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Shared recently on Slack:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's do this again sometime… or not! 😂🤷‍♂️ #LostInTranslation #WordFumbles"

communication, humor, interaction, irony, miscommunication, pleasure, sarcasm, social, social interaction, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, cleaning, floor, funny observation, home, humor, kill, mopping, observation, relationship, surprise, thought
Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

0

2 months ago

acting, ask, blame, circus, clown, entertainment, going, humor, keep, personal, personal responsibility, responsibility, self-reflection, why, yourself
I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

0

2 months ago

5, day, exaggeration, having, humor, life, life struggle, long time, rough, rough day, sarcasm, struggle, time
From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

0

2 months ago

every, full, hate, humor, i, Kendrick, much, potential, realization, realize, self-improvement, think, time, too
I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

0

3 days ago

act, conversation, exaggeration, humor, i, intermission, joke, long story, say, short, story, storytelling, theater
After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

0

2 months ago

25, 30, age, humor, life, milestone, perspective

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

19 shares on X this month:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

47 shares on X this month:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Breaking via YouTube:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Trending via Slack:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Making waves on Messenger:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Just landed via WeChat:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Spotted on TikTok:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨