Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Seen just now on X:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Live now on X:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Broadcasted on Threads:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Spotted on Messenger:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my guardian angel has a "no return policy" on this human! 😇🚫🔙

angel, conclusion, guardian, guardian angel, humor, me, possessive, protection

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

0

2 months ago

brave, dating, else, feelings, love, relationship, someone, someone else, tell, watch
Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, club, humor, life, rebellion, reincarnation, rules, yelling, yolo
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

0

2 months ago

close, computer, computer joke, enough, humor, i, interface, joke, just, login, once, password, relatable, say, tech, tech humor, user, user interface, want
Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

browser, browser history, calculator, calculator history, delete, Earth, embarrassing, forget, history, i, pass
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

0

2 months ago

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work
Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

0

2 months ago

car, dark, dark humor, ever, hit, hospital, humor, injury, month, mood, sarcasm, spend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Twitch this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

22 shares on Discord this month:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Just shared via Slack:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Trending via Messenger:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Just shared via Discord:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Live now on Reddit:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Just landed via Discord:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨