Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Trending via Reddit:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Trending via Snapchat:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Live now on Reddit:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Trending via Threads:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Just shared via Messenger:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my life just hit the two-ply speed zone! 🚽🧻😂

analogy, closer, end, faster, humor, life, paper, roll, time, toilet, toilet paper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

0

2 months ago

allergy, humor, irony, life, limitations, oyster, perspective, shellfish, world
Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

0

2 months ago

Adam, bible, eve, florence, Florence and the Machine, humor, machine, music, religion, said, sexuality, unnatural, vibrator, wordplay, wrong
My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

0

2 months ago

am, disturb, disturbed, do not disturb, enough, humor, humor quote, i, phone, self-deprecating, technology
I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

0

2 months ago

activity, distraction, entertainment, good, humor, i, need, phone, something, watch
I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

0

5 months ago

activity, adult, adults, break, close, fun, fun activity, i, job, jobs, just, months, need, outside, play, please, relaxation, summer, summer vacation, think, three, tired, vacation
I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

0

6 months ago

bottom, downhill, ever, humor, i, life, point, sarcasm, started, starting, starting point, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

81 shares on X this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

94 shares on X this month:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

29 shares on X this month:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Going bananas on TikTok:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Breaking via Discord:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨