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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Spotted on Discord:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Seen just now on Threads:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Just landed via Pinterest:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Going viral on Reddit:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like he's about to unleash some serious wisdom—or just tell us where the best tacos are! 😎🌮📢

accessory, attitude, communication, fashion, front, got, humor, important, listen, say, shirt, something, style, sunglasses, wardrobe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

0

2 months ago

am, burnout, fatigue, humor, i, quiet, quiet quitting, quitting, stress, suffering, work
Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

0

2 months ago

accusation, AI, claim, era, false, false claim, getting, humor, misunderstanding, modern, modern era, suspicion, technology, trial, using, version, witch, witch trial
Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

0

2 months ago

activity, actually, bowling, competition, doing, friends, frustration, fun, fun activity, going, good, good player, nothing, outing, people, player, skill, social, social outing, why, worse
Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

0

2 months ago

come over, everywhere, hair, humor, i, mess, over, pet, shed, visit
I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

0

2 months ago

avocado, baby, childbirth, clumsiness, comfort, comfortable, delivery, dropping, even, humor, i, never, pit, struggle
The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

0

2 months ago

fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, food, Gretel, Hansel, house, humor, taco, tale, whimsical

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

All I think about is death and sex.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨