Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Shared recently on X:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Just shared via Threads:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Trending via Twitch:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Spotted on Threads:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Going bananas on X:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Going viral on TikTok:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sending this text is like mixing both astrology and strategy into a single message—call it "ex-ceptional planning" 🤔🎂💌

birthday, breakup, ex, humor, idea, love, loving, manipulation, manipulative, me, only, sarcasm, text, thank

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

0

2 months ago

being, calm, calm down, fame, famous, humor, media, Monopoly, real, reality, rich, social, social media
Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

0

2 months ago

anyone, difficulty, frustration, humor, joke, know, life, sarcasm, self-deprecation, setting, stress
The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

0

2 months ago

argument, end, fight, fun, humor, internet, mayonnaise, media, online, online argument, post, social, social media
Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

0

5 months ago

2, accidental, accidentally, humor, nature, secret, secrets, squirrel, supernatural, tree, wisdom
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

0

2 months ago

celery, celery stalk, cold, cold soup, comfort, comfort food, drink, even, food, humor, ice, little, nothing, over, quirky, quirky drink, soothe, soul, soup, stalk, tomato, tomato soup, vodka
Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

0

2 months ago

am, bigger, getting, house, housing, humor, i, joke, landlord, me, misunderstanding, money, raising, rent, response, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic response, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

74 shares on X this month:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

44 shares on Slack this month:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Trending via Facebook:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Spotted on Twitch:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Going viral on TikTok:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Freshly posted on X:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Making waves on X:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Going viral on Twitch:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨