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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Just landed via X:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Live now on Discord:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Trending via Slack:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Just landed via Slack:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Shared recently on X:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Flex those brain muscles! 💪🧠 Smart is the new sexy! 😄

attractive, attractiveness, brain, compliment, developed, frontal, frontal lobe, humor, intelligence, lobe, man, most, muscle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

2 months ago

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom
Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

2 months ago

communication, ever, humor, i, Korean, language, over, reason, scream, text, think, time, uppercase
When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

2 months ago

bus, bus pass, car, conflict, frustration, humor, key, pass, prank, relationship, revenge, want
“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

2 months ago

appearance, body, body image, construct, fashion, femininity, gender, girls, image, norms, social, social construct, societal, societal norms
Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

1 week ago

back, back to work, forgetfulness, humor, i, job, morning, office, remember, trying, work
Coffee is better when you have no work.

6 months ago

better, break, coffee, humor, leisure, relaxation, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

48 shares on X this month:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

14 shares on Slack this month:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Making waves on Discord:

Oh good. Another day.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Just landed via Threads:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Seen just now on Slack:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Just shared via TikTok:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Going viral on Facebook:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Just shared via Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Spotted on X:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨