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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Making waves on WeChat:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Shared recently on Slack:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Spotted on Threads:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Just shared via Messenger:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

At least life has music.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about relationship boundaries and college memories, highlighting humorous loneliness.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you're the master of solo adventures! 🕵️‍♂️📚 #SecretPastLife

alone, awkward, awkward situation, college, ex, gf, girlfriend, humor, i, just, lot, means, reason, relationship, situation, story, talk, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Spotted on Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Spotted on YouTube:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Going bananas on WeChat:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Going viral on Telegram:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Spotted on Pinterest:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨