Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Breaking via WeChat:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Spotted on X:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Just landed via Discord:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Just shared via WeChat:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Trending via TikTok:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Spotted on Threads:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they'll have to find new wedding songs and learn the woeful art of meme-mourning! 💍❌😂

commitment, getting, going, marriage, married, most, parent, parents, serious, shock, shocked, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

0

3 months ago

back, business, business phrase, circle, circle back, close, delay, humor, i, meeting, next, phrase, procrastination, season, taste, year
My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

0

2 months ago

body, diarrhea, digestion, food, humor, machine, pizza
Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, food, fry, girl, humor, just, never, relationship, sense, snack
Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

0

2 months ago

40s, advice, aging, apple, apples, doctors, health, humor, matter, need, welcome
Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

being, boyfriend, boyfriendable, dating, expectations, fun, humor, love, relationship, stop
I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, comedy, folly, genuine, human, human folly, humor, i, intelligence, next, prediction, satire, stupidity, technology, war, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

68 shares on X this month:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Spotted on X:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Trending via Threads:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Trending via Reddit:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Spotted on Instagram:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Live now on TikTok:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Going viral on Slack:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨