Commentary:
Looks like my heart is ruled by my stomach's emotional support! 🍕❤️😆
No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.
Commentary:
When grapes become grape-ful, everything falls into place 🍇🍷✌️
My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.
Commentary:
Sounds like the best workout plan I've ever heard of! 🥨🍫😄
No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.
Commentary:
" 'We'll see' is just parental code for 'Not a chance!' 😂👀🚫"
I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!
Commentary:
Looks like those magic cleaning pills aren't working, but at least your insides are squeaky clean! 🧼😂
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
Commentary:
Just when you think you've seen it all, Facebook says, "Hold my WiFi!" 😂📱🙈
Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.
Commentary:
Cut the WiFi, and watch the bathroom lines clear faster than a free pizza announcement! 🍕🚀💨
Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.
Commentary:
"Guess that's why they never run out of room for bold new ideas 😂👖✨"
Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.
Commentary:
Juice: *tastes great, but forgot to mention it's moonwalking practice in a glass* 🍹🕺😂
Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.
Commentary:
When you're in the group chat just for the background noise 🎻😂📴