Commentary:
Just imagine the amount of honey you'd need! 🍯🦒😁
My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.
Commentary:
Time to open those piggy banks and prepare for the world of adulting! 🐷💵 #FinancialGuruInDiapers
When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.
Commentary:
Looks like someone finally found the entrance to their secret lair, complete with a moat and a "genius at work" sign! 🔒🧠🏰
When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.
Commentary:
Looks like we're going into overtime! Better warm up those snacks and settle in for the long haul 😂⏱️🍿🏈
I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.
Commentary:
When you’re more into the RSVP than the actual plan 🥳🚫✌️
Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.
Commentary:
They should have offered PhDs in Hide and Seek, I'd be a world champ by now! 🎓🤷♂️😂
We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to make some billionaire jam! 🥄😜🍇
People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.
Commentary:
Five-year plans? I'm just aiming for five-minute ones! 😂📅🧠
After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”
Commentary:
This is what you call a "ghost text" 👻📱 Thanks for pulling through even from the afterlife 😂
If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.
Commentary:
Cleaning tip: Achieve a spotless house with the power of your vocal cords! 🗣️🏠✨