Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,984

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Trending via Slack:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Live now on Facebook:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Spotted on Twitch:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

More funny quotes 👇

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

0

5 days ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

0

5 days ago

after, being, best, communication, debrief, event, having, marriage, married, person, relationship, social, social event, spouse
In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

0

5 days ago

freedom, home, humor, literally, observation, student, tell, university
Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

5 days ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
Dear music, thanks!

0

5 days ago

dear, gratitude, humor, music, thanks
The peace of not knowing.

0

5 days ago

calmness, humor, ignorance, irony, knowing, peace
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

5 days ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

0

5 days ago

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year
We need a slur for people that use AI.

0

5 days ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user
White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

0

5 days ago

competition, elephant, exchange, fight, fighting, game, garbage, gift, gift exchange, holiday, holiday game, humor, nothing, over, people, together, white, white elephant

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

80 shares on X this month:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

95 shares on Slack this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Going viral on X:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Trending via Slack:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Live now on YouTube:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨