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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Going viral on X:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Just shared via Slack:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Just shared via YouTube:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Just landed via TikTok:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Breaking via Threads:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Seen just now on Threads:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Making waves on Slack:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

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Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”
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Commentary:
"Going from fillings to felonies! 🦷➡️🚔 Who knew the drill could lead to thrill! 😆🤦‍♂️ #MomKnowsBest"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I only drink when I people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Live now on Facebook:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Shared recently on Slack:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Making waves on Instagram:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

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