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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,777

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Spotted on WeChat:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Going viral on Reddit:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Trending via YouTube:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Trending via Messenger:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Going from fillings to felonies! 🦷➡️🚔 Who knew the drill could lead to thrill! 😆🤦‍♂️ #MomKnowsBest"

American, American experience, being, dentist, experience, family, good, humor, irony, mom, most, prison, sarcasm, universal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

1 month ago
attached, dashboard, distraction, driving, ever, giant, humor, iPad, please, safety, technology, text, texting
She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

1 month ago
bro, communication, conversation, dating, humor, leave, read, relationship, speechless
Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

1 month ago
chairs, design, ergonomics, humans, humor, know, people, questioning, sarcasm
We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

1 month ago
coworker, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, office, office life, purpose, stress, ten, workplace, workplace humor, workplace stress
I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

3 months ago
affection, flirtation, hands, humor, i, keep, love, man, me, please, touch, touchy-feely, yes
The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

1 month ago
accidental, constant, humor, life, lock, lock screen, screen, screenshot, technology

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Just landed via Reddit:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Live now on Instagram:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Going viral on Discord:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Trending via YouTube:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Making waves on TikTok:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Making waves on TikTok:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

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Activity Log ✨

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Manifesting you in my bed.

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

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Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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