Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Breaking via Threads:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Live now on TikTok:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
It's like we're all modern witches casting spells through the power of finger-tapping! 🧙‍♂️📱✨

addiction, around, day, glass, humor, just, life, modern, modern life, phone, phones, screen, sit, smartphone, tapping, technology, wild

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

0

2 months ago

fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac, humor, i, irony, just, love, mac, music, rain, thunder, true
I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

0

2 months ago

am, crime, crime show, done, drug, escobar, humor, i, lot, marijuana, motivation, much, Narcos, pablo, Pablo Escobar, productivity, say, show, smoking, someone, weed
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

0

2 months ago

book, distraction, frustration, humor, just, leisure, life, obstacle, obstacles, reading, series
Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

0

2 months ago

bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying
People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

0

4 months ago

city, city life, ever, humor, interaction, invitation, know, let, life, me, NYC, people, social, social interaction
Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

0

2 months ago

advice, baby, comparison, content, creation, easy, everyone, humor, media, not everyone, parenting, podcast, should, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Making waves on YouTube:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Just shared via Threads:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Trending via Threads:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Going viral on Messenger:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Spotted on X:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨