Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.