Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Making waves on X:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Live now on Telegram:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Breaking via Messenger:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Going viral on YouTube:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I've discovered the ultimate invisibility cloak: just stop texting first! 🕵️‍♂️🙈📵

communication, dating, friendship, humor, i, life, lot, media, message, people, relationship, social, social life, social media, stopped, texting, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

0

2 months ago

activity, die, friend, friends, ghost, good, hope, humor, i, people, scare, stay, walk, wall, walls
Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

0

5 months ago

freckle, humor, letting, outdoor, skin, summer, sun, sunbathing, today
A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

0

2 months ago

account, five, humor, minutes, moment, money, paycheck, silence, spending
My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

0

2 months ago

behavior, buying, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, humor, indecision, never, online, online shopping, procrastination, retail, retail therapy, shopping, therapy, things
Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

0

2 months ago

automotive, car, cars, classic, classic car, embarrassment, humor, muscle, muscle car, Mustang, name, nostalgia, remember
I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

0

2 months ago

diet, fitness, gaining, humor, i, irony, struggle, week, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Threads this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Going viral on X:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Spotted on Reddit:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Breaking via Pinterest:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨