Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Just landed via Discord:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Breaking via WeChat:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Seen just now on Threads:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Just shared via Reddit:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Totally unfazed… except for when I'm side-eyeing you every 5 minutes. 🚶‍♂️👀💭😂"

able, day, distraction, dream, feelings, glad, humor, i, me, mental, mental state, moving, moving on, sarcasm, state, subconscious, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

0

2 months ago

around, backyard, body, buried, domestic, domestic life, fashion, fun, house, humor, jeans, life, people, wear
I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

0

2 months ago

am, dream, dream woman, enter, forest, hear, humor, i, nature, raven, ravens, shouting, sudden, surprise, surreal, unexpected, warning, woman
Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

0

2 months ago

alone, bro, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, hell, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, me, social, social interaction, work
Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

0

2 months ago

career, degree, funny career, Groundhog, having, humor, imagine, irony, meteorologist, prediction, profession, prophecy, science, science degree, unexpected, unexpected profession, weather, weather prediction
I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

0

2 months ago

back, being, cartoon, cat, cats, doing, humor, i, jerry, job, lazy, mouse, noticed, pets, problem, tom, Tom and Jerry, yelling
I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

0

2 months ago

age, annoyance, frustration, humor, life, life stage, maturity, me, noise, stage

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Reddit this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

92 shares on Messenger this month:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨