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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Spotted on Twitch:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Shared recently on YouTube:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Making waves on Reddit:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Just landed via Messenger:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Live now on WeChat:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Freshly posted on X:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I-know-this-is-bad-for-me-but-it-tastes-so-good' dilemma brought to you by Taco Bell 🌮! Looks like your body is seeking some spicy punishment with a side of regret 😂. Remember, everything in moderation…except maybe the Baja Blast freeze 🥤. Just kidding, treat yourself! 💃"

bell, body, cravings, fast, fast food, food, humor, indulgence, needs, punishment, sometimes, taco, Taco Bell

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93 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

83 shares on Slack this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

62 shares on X this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

31 shares on Slack this month:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Breaking via Instagram:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Spotted on Slack:

Never trust a wet fart.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I think God was high when he made me.

Shared recently on X:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Going bananas on Messenger:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

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