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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of the rogue send button striking again! 🙊💥 Who needs a pause button for those impulsive thoughts, right? 🤣 #ThinkBeforeYouClick"

before, brain, chance, communication, humor, mistake, mouth, send, sometimes, stop, technology, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

0

2 months ago

ancestor, ancestors, birth, condom, family, gathering, here, humor, joke, life, today
Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

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3 months ago

animal, call, communication, conference, conference call, hold, humor, mouse, phone, pun, put, squeakerphone
You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

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3 weeks ago

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel
50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

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2 months ago

50, daily, daily life, decision, exercise, family, humor, just, life, noise, parenting, stairs, trying, walking, worth
I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, black, calory, coffee, drink, humor, i, preference, save
We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, breakfast, choice, decision, dinner, food, meal, relationship, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Messenger this month:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

24 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Trending via Facebook:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Trending via TikTok:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨