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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Making waves on Instagram:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Making waves on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Shared recently on Facebook:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

3 months ago

0

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the universe turns into a symphony of chaos, I become the conductor of confusion! 🎶🤯🔊

apology, behavior, distraction, happening, humor, i, multiple, multitasking, noise, noises, same, sorry, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

0

2 months ago

again, bag, blood, blood pressure, fit, free, handy, humor, i, irony, kit, never, once, pressure, relatable, stuff, take
Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

0

2 months ago

911, forced, funny situation, hello, humor, me, meet, meeting, neighbors, over, situation, walk, wife, yes
Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

0

2 months ago

email, end, every, funny request, humor, me, request, sent, should, tummy, worry
I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

0

2 months ago

cannon, history, humor, i, inventor, irony, know, relief, t-shirt, weapon
If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

0

2 months ago

bit, confidence, conversation, definition, ever, humor, i, just, looking, middle, phone, reading, text, texting, too, used, word
ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

0

2 months ago

1980s, 1980s culture, 80s, ALF, culture, drug, drug humor, drugs, high, humor, nostalgic, parody, sitcom, vintage

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Facebook this month:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Spotted on Telegram:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Shared recently on X:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Going viral on Telegram:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Seen just now on X:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Live now on Telegram:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Trending via Pinterest:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

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