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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Freshly posted on X:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Just shared via Threads:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Freshly posted on X:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Trending via Instagram:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Just landed via Instagram:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Going bananas on Threads:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Witty text highlighting 80s band names inspired by noisy, predatory cats with a playful vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess they really wanted music that was "purr-fect" but required subtitles 🐯🎶👂📢

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Slack this month:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

28 shares on Threads this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Seen just now on WeChat:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Breaking via Reddit:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Trending via X:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Going viral on TikTok:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Making waves on X:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

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