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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Seen just now on Slack:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Just shared via Twitch:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.
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Commentary:
I guess they really wanted music that was "purr-fect" but required subtitles 🐯🎶👂📢

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,415

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Trending via Discord:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Just shared via Twitch:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Freshly posted on Slack:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

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