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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Just shared via TikTok:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Just shared via Instagram:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Spotted on YouTube:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Seen just now on Telegram:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Making waves on Instagram:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Shared recently on X:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Live now on Reddit:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I knew procrastination would eventually pay off 🎄😆

celebration, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, festive, holiday, humor, joke, lot, sense, tree, year, year round

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

0

5 months ago

bra, bras, clothing, fashion, humor, need, problem, recall, shopping, strapless, strapless bra, taken, technology
Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anywhere, bug, bugs, choose, face, fly, fly into face, flying, flying bug, humor, insect, nature, right, still, want
I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

0

2 months ago

after, drive, home, house, humor, i, late, quick, rush, work
If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

0

2 months ago

A.I., AI, AI dominance, artificial, artificial intelligence, dominance, humor, intelligence, joke, life, modern, modern life, something, tech, tech humor, technology, wondering
I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

0

1 month ago

age, beautiful, cost, heat, heating, house, huge, i, mansion, movie, much, think, where, winter
“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

0

2 months ago

again, chores, cleaning, dishes, doing, food, going, hours, humor, irony, just, pointless, put, satire, waste, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

31 shares on YouTube this month:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Trending via Snapchat:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Going bananas on Threads:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨