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Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

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3,845

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Trending via Pinterest:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Going viral on Threads:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Going viral on X:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Just landed via Slack:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Trending via YouTube:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like I've reached the point of using a fake mustache and a secret agent alias! 🕵️‍♂️✈️😂

enough, escape, health, humor, i, identity, mental, mental health, need, new, passport, self-improvement, therapy, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

1 month ago
humor, Jersey, joke, know, mispronunciation, nude, play, play on words, pronounce, words
Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

5 months ago
apple, cloud, cloud storage, data, delete, digital, digital life, every, humor, just, life, millennial, monthly, monthly payment, paying, payment, storage, subscription, technology
The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

1 month ago
balcony, disgusting, humor, i, neighbor, person, polite, sarcasm, shout, sneeze
Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

1 month ago
cooking, cry, day, humor, kitchen, motivation, onion, onions
What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

1 month ago
around, dopamine, feel, feeling, frustration, girl, here, high, humor
One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

1 month ago
amazing, amazing fact, basketball, fact, fit, hoop, humor, nature, observation, perfect, perfect fit, size, sports, things

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Trending via YouTube:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Going bananas on Telegram:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

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Activity Log ✨

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Dance like China isn’t watching.

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

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Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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