Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Just landed via WeChat:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Going viral on Reddit:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Going viral on TikTok:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure money can’t buy happiness, but I’m ready to rent a smile or two! 💸😄 #WillingToExperiment"

buy, desire, experiment, give, happiness, humor, irony, just, let, lot, me, money, myself, perspective, say, someone, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

0

2 months ago

age, clarity, clearer, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, photo, photo quality, quality, unfair, unfairness
Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

0

2 months ago

carey, celebration, Christmas, conception, everyone, humor, immaculate, immaculate conception, knows, mariah, Mariah Carey
Text her when the moon looks pretty.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, looks, moon, night, pretty, romantic, text, texting
Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

0

2 months ago

confession, courtroom, defense, era, honor, humor, i, incident, time, villain
SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

0

2 months ago

app, casino, design, every, experience, feels, game, game design, much, online, online shopping, open, Shein, shopping, shopping app, time, too, user, user experience
We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

0

2 months ago

another, communication, explorers, friend, horrors, humor, i, old, old times, should, start, survival, texting, time, times, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Twitch this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

70 shares on X this month:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Live now on Facebook:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Just shared via Slack:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Making waves on YouTube:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨