Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Twitter: where your tweets flow like your creativity and your bowels 💩 A digital escape as you answer nature's call! 🚽😆 #TweetingFromTheThrone"

entertainment, fun, humor, media, most, relaxation, social, social media, toilet, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

0

1 month ago

ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep
My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad turn, family, humor, just, kids, less, parenting, relationship, resolution, taken, turn, wife, yell
It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

0

4 months ago

actually, behavior, better, cheaper, consumer, consumer behavior, crazy, diamond, diamonds, ethics, grow, humor, irony, people, price, quality, real, real diamond, special, still, suffering, synthetic, synthetic diamond, thanks, thing, value
Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

0

2 months ago

absolutely, awkward, awkward moment, field, guy, humor, moment, pervert, reason, single, single guy, situation, sunflower, sunflower field, unusual, unusual situation
Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

0

3 days ago

blessing, girlfriend, having, humor, media, post, privacy, relationship, social, social media, underrated
My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

0

2 months ago

activity, food, going, humor, just, mexican, Mexican restaurant, relaxation, restaurant, restaurants, routine, self-care

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Discord this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

30 shares on X this month:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

22 shares on YouTube this month:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Trending via Telegram:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Live now on WeChat:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Just shared via Twitch:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Spotted on Threads:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨