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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Shared recently on WeChat:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I am half agony, half hope.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Just shared via Discord:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Trending via X:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Humorous text about Twitter being perfect for singles, funny people, or the downhearted.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's the ultimate triple threat—swipe left if you're funny, swipe right if you're just here for the memes 😂📱💔

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

100 shares on X this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

46 shares on X this month:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

69 shares on Slack this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I un-know people?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Just shared via Reddit:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Just landed via Facebook:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Trending via X:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Trending via Pinterest:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Just shared via Facebook:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Going viral on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Just landed via Telegram:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Just landed via Messenger:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

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