Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Trending via Instagram:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Going viral on TikTok:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Live now on Facebook:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Spotted on Twitch:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text about Twitter being perfect for singles, funny people, or the downhearted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's the ultimate triple threat—swipe left if you're funny, swipe right if you're just here for the memes 😂📱💔

always, app, best, depressed, depression, Funny, health, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, single, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

35 shares on Threads this month:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

48 shares on Telegram this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Just shared via Discord:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Making waves on YouTube:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Breaking via Discord:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Going viral on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Making waves on TikTok:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨