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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Making waves on X:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Breaking via Discord:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Spotted on Facebook:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

3 months ago

0

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Fast trains would be cool, but apparently, AI thinks we need more "thirsty" entertainment! 🚄🤖💧😂

AI, AI bot, alive, bot, bots, country, drinking, drinking water, dumbest, entertain, entertainment, high-speed, high-speed rail, humor, infrastructure, people, porn, rail, satire, steal, technology, theft, water, water theft

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, all nighter, humor, i, means, night, pee, sleep
Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

0

2 months ago

choices, consequences, drain, flow, humor, just, life, spiral
It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful day, create, day, existing, humor, ignore, irony, new, ones, problem, problems, procrastination
You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

0

2 months ago

add, cooking, cooking mishap, food, humor, kitchen, mishap, salt, tears
IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

0

2 months ago

assembly, DIY, frustration, furniture, glossary, humor, IKEA, instructions, swear, swear word, Swedish, word, words
Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

0

2 months ago

baggage, damaged, dating, days, emotional, emotional baggage, everyone, ex, getting, getting to know, going, impossible, know, love, modern, modern love, relationship, single, someone, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

25 shares on Slack this month:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

44 shares on X this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

23 shares on Discord this month:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

85 shares on Discord this month:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Spotted on Instagram:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Making waves on Messenger:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Going viral on X:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Going viral on Threads:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

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