Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Making waves on Facebook:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Live now on Snapchat:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Freshly posted on X:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Trending via Instagram:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Making waves on Slack:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Seen just now on X:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

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When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.
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Commentary:
In your 20s, the real family drama is deciding whether it's Tony Soprano or laundry day that gets your attention first 📺🧺 #Priorities

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,943

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Breaking via Threads:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

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