When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

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Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

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The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

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The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

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Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

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If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

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God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

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I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

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If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

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We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

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I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.