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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Making waves on Slack:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Spotted on Discord:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Making waves on Telegram:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Making waves on Reddit:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Witty quote about reaching a breaking point, capturing humor and relatable frustration.
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Commentary:
Looks like I'm not just at "that point," I'm practically camping there with snacks! ⛺️🤣🍿

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on X this month:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

37 shares on Threads this month:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

11 shares on X this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

64 shares on X this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Just landed via Discord:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Just shared via Threads:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Going viral on TikTok:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Trending via Threads:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Going viral on YouTube:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Spotted on Twitch:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Spotted on Threads:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

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