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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Trending via Twitch:

I need a massage for my brain.

Spotted on X:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Going viral on Discord:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Making waves on Messenger:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Just landed via Reddit:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about babies' curious, knowing stares, capturing a playful, humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe they're trying to figure out if you're the one who ate their snacks in a past life. 👀🍪🤔"

baby, curiosity, humor, innocence, know, observation, somewhere, stare, why

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22 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All I think about is death and sex.

32 shares on X this month:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Spotted on YouTube:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Live now on Discord:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Making waves on Slack:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Making waves on Discord:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

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Activity Log ✨

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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