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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Seen just now on TikTok:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Making waves on Reddit:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Trending via Pinterest:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Just landed via Discord:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Making waves on Reddit:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Seen just now on Reddit:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Work for a living? In this economy?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why work for a living when you can win the lottery and live your best life? 🤑💸 #Goals"

economy, humor, job, living, sarcasm, struggle, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

0

2 months ago

animal, casual, cat, everyday, hands, humor, hygiene, laundry, pet, sarcasm, sink, towel, washing
It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

0

2 months ago

again, beverage, choice, choose, coffee, decision, holiday, humor, morning, mulled, mulled wine, time, wine
Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

0

2 months ago

career, dating, humor, job, just, market, relationship, right, same, scene, stay, where
I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

0

2 months ago

afraid, comedy, fear, fix, Funny, health, humor, i, lose, me, mental, mental health, personality, self-awareness, self-care, self-improvement, therapy
You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

0

2 months ago

awareness, cardio, doing, exercise, fitness, humor, minute, never, realize, struggle, time
Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

0

4 weeks ago

across, book, brain, character, character name, characters, coming, confusion, every, humor, just, know, name, pronounce, pronunciation, reading, rest, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

24 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

35 shares on Slack this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Going viral on Reddit:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Trending via Reddit:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Just landed via X:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Going viral on Discord:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Work for a living? In this economy?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨