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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Spotted on YouTube:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Seen just now on X:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Trending via Telegram:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Making waves on Discord:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Live now on TikTok:

Half princess, half menace.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like I might start seeing everyone as walking burritos soon 🌯😂 #OvulationProblems

analogy, cartoon, cartoons, chicken, chicken leg, feeling, feels, friend, friends, humor, hunger, hungry, leg, looking, ovulation, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

2 months ago

beauty, eat, humor, inside, joke, makeup, pretty, self-esteem, wit
Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

2 months ago

always, convenience, efficiency, fear, free, humor, much, people, quick, retail, scared, self-checkout, shopping, something, technology
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

3 months ago

activity, fun, games, humor, joke, mouth, opera, shampoo, shower, singing, soap
I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

2 months ago

bouquet, cheese, craving, food, humor, i, mozzarella, snack, wish
You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

2 months ago

again, experience, humor, life, me, pay, year
In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

2 months ago

humor, irony, management, procrastination, productive, productivity, terms, time, time management, today, wasting, wasting time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Going viral on Slack:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Live now on Slack:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Just landed via TikTok:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Just landed via Discord:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨