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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Spotted on Instagram:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Just landed via Telegram:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like I might start seeing everyone as walking burritos soon 🌯😂 #OvulationProblems

analogy, cartoon, cartoons, chicken, chicken leg, feeling, feels, friend, friends, humor, hunger, hungry, leg, looking, ovulation, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

1 month ago

ability, aerobic, boredom, exercise, fitness, greek, Greek words, humor, word, wordplay, words
She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

1 month ago

cart, grocery, rare, shopping, shopping cart, wheel, wobbly, wobbly wheel
I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

1 month ago

anxiety, apology, awkwardness, dead, embarrassment, humor, i, pretend, public, saw, social, social anxiety, sorry
“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

1 month ago

every, exhaustion, frustration, humor, minutes, Monday, okay, relatable, sarcasm, time, week
So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

1 month ago

comedy, excuses, humor, irony, rude, self-deprecation, solutions
By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

2 months ago

black, Black Friday, buy, deal, Friday, humor, irony, money, save, shopping

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Live now on Messenger:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Live now on Messenger:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Just landed via WeChat:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

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Activity Log ✨

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Is this simulation from Temu?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

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You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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