Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,742

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Live now on Discord:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Breaking via Slack:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Just shared via Facebook:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Spotted on Instagram:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

More funny quotes 👇

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

0

1 month ago

apartment, big, changes, comedy, desire, exaggeration, humor, i, laugh, size, spaciousness, want
Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

0

1 month ago

bad, bathroom, combination, having, household, humor, inconvenience, joke, outside, practical, practical joke, sibling, switch
I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

0

1 month ago

humor, i, identity, individuality, me, problem, self-expression
Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

0

1 month ago

after, death, dust, email, existential, humor, life, mortality, remember, reminder, return, send
I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

0

1 month ago

cool, even, frustration, humor, i, ID, joke, know, landlubber, life, lose, losing, losing cool, me, nautical, sailor, sailor joke, sarcastic, sea, sea life
It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

0

1 month ago

animal, bear, bears, climate, exaggeration, hot, humor, ice, ice bear, joke, lemonade, lemonade stand, opening, stand, summer, weather
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

0

1 month ago

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger
Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

0

1 month ago

careful, confrontation, danger, draw, fast, friend, humor, i, just, sarcasm, Shakira, threat, weapon, word
There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

0

1 month ago

communication, cultural, cultural reference, digital, digital expression, emoji, emoji expression, express, expression, grief, humor, humorous, humorous quote, irish, Irish grief, Irish humor, misfortune, online, online communication, people, reference, shamrock, shamrock emoji, should
The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

0

1 month ago

arrogance, confidence, difference, fun, humor, joke, people, personality, sarcasm, us, witty

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Spotted on TikTok:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Spotted on Messenger:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨