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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Going viral on X:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Just landed via Snapchat:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Breaking via X:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

5 days ago

Playful quote about comfort: hot coffee and crispy bagel can't hurt, but won't change much.

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Commentary:
Ah, the power of coffee and carbs – the ultimate duo for life's questionable moments! ☕🥯 Who needs problem-solving skills when you've got a hot coffee and a crispy bagel on your side? They may not fix everything, but hey, at least they'll distract you from the chaos with their deliciousness! 😉 #CoffeeAndBagelToTheRescue

anything, bagel, breakfast, change, coffee, comfort, crispy, hot, hurt, pleasure, simple, simple pleasure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Trending via TikTok:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Making waves on WeChat:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Making waves on Telegram:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Spotted on X:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Just shared via Discord:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Spotted on X:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

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