Commentary:
Looks like I'm upgrading my workout routine from yoga to yog-a-mop! 🧽🧘♂️😂
Author Archives: slickboy
I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.
Commentary:
"I'm ready to wrestle a bear for a job, but don't ask me to write a cover letter 🐻✍️🚫"
There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.
Commentary:
Website designers who disable copy-paste in password fields must be sitting on lava thrones, sipping hot sauce smoothies 😂🔥🔑
People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.
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And here I thought I had finally achieved time travel! 🚀😂 #AheadOfTheGame
Milk or be milked.
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When life gives you udders, milk the opportunity! 🥛😄🐄
It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.
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When you’re the grocery store's equivalent of a haunted shopping cart 🛒👻 just floating through the aisles waiting for snack approval! 🍫🍿
Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.
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Trying to decide if my inbox or my heart is emptier right now 😂📧💔
Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.
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When you realize yesterday's brilliance was actually just a cosmic joke on your ego 😂🤦♂️✨
It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.
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The early bird catches the cannonball! 🐦🔫😄
It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.
Commentary:
When it's so cold, even my phone's ads are doing their community service—warming my hands and soul! 🔥📱😂