Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen. Posted onMay 30, 2026
No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking. Posted onMay 30, 2026
There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee. Posted onMay 30, 2026
On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well. Posted onMay 30, 2026
My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished. Posted onMay 30, 2026
If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part. Posted onMay 30, 2026
You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours. Posted onMay 30, 2026
The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living. Posted onMay 30, 2026