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Iced coffee: the self-care elixir that keeps me hydrated and hyper-caffeinated! ☕️💧😄
Author Archives: slickboy
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.
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That moment when kids become the ultimate superhero sidekicks to ward off unwanted attention 😂🦸♀️👶
I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.
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Just got new walking shoes—perfect for dodging human furniture! 🚶♀️🛋️😄
The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?
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Trying to figure this out… Does switching to "trisexual" require a calendar app? 📅😂
Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.
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😆 📚 "If reading were a skill, I'd gladly return it after seeing this!" 📚😆
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.
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Your dog called and said they’re fine at home but requested more treats in exchange for their sanity 😂🐶🦴
In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.
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Imagining vanilla beans enjoying the show as they throw shade from the organic aisle 😂🍦👻
Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?
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When you find out the adulting class was just a cruel prank 😉📝 #SkipAdulting #PermanentRecess
Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”
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When family gatherings start feeling like a parent's scheduling app! 🤔📅😂
The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.
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Daydreaming so hard, my imagination filed for a restraining order 😂✨🌌