Author Archives: slickboy

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Commentary:
Sure, I'll gladly join the nocturnal crew! Who wouldn't prefer starlight and high-speed WiFi over sunburns and noisy neighbors? 🌜🌟💻

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Commentary:
I can't wait for the bark-mitzvah next! 🎉🐶💥

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Commentary:
Sounds like toddlers have mastered time management and chaos creation all at once! 😅🍼💥

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Commentary:
Well, I guess we're getting dirty one way or another! 🌱😂🪴

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Commentary:
That's because AI takes breaks faster than a coffee machine on Fridays! ☕🤖

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Commentary:
Sounds like she’s on a mission to find Mr. Right… or maybe Mr. Wrong-For-All-The-Right-Reasons! 😜📚🎨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Commentary:
Plot twist: My chin hairs have better plot development than most TV shows 😂🪒

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Commentary:
He’ll yeah, autocorrect has a mind of its own! 🤖😂

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Commentary:
That's one way to keep the air of mystery and perpetual confusion alive! 🤔😂💔

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Commentary:
Looks like my life just hit the two-ply speed zone! 🚽🧻😂