Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Making waves on Telegram:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Live now on Threads:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Trending via Reddit:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Just shared via Slack:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Shared recently on Slack:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Just landed via WeChat:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

0
Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rolling out of bed to play the daily game of "pretend to be responsible"! 🚶‍♂️😴✨

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

24 shares on Slack this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Live now on Pinterest:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Live now on Instagram:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴