Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Breaking via Twitch:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Making waves on Telegram:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Spotted on X:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Rolling out of bed to play the daily game of "pretend to be responsible"! 🚶‍♂️😴✨

adult, bed, being, humor, life, morning, mumbling, reluctant, slide, struggle, stupid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

1 month ago
aging, bat, fun, getting, hanging, humor, morning, neck, neck pain, old, pain, sleep, upside, wake
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

2 months ago
dream, dreams, frustration, hate, humor, i, lose, office, office humor, paper, pen, relatable, sanity, things, work
Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

4 months ago
add, apps, awkward, awkward tension, every, friend, friend group, group, hang, hang out, sleep, someone, tension, time
The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

1 month ago
again, being, cool, humor, ignoring, notification, over, repetition, surprise, technology, thing
Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

13 hours ago
80s, 80s film, appearance, charming, charming lead, classic, days, discord, Discord mod, film, gathering, group, guy, hair, having, i, lead, long hair, magic, Magic: The Gathering, mod, Navy, runs, scary
Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

4 months ago
breadstick, comparison, crust, devour, eating, eating habit, food, food comparison, food preference, habit, humor, pan, people, pizza, preference

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Just landed via TikTok:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Just shared via Telegram:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Trending via Messenger:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Freshly posted on X:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Trending via Twitch:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

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Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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