Commentary:
"Right?! Reality could use some of that fanfic magic! πβ¨π"
Random Funny Quotes
Show me another rule so I can break that one too.
Commentary:
Another rule? Just call me the "Rule-ette"! ππ¦π₯
Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?
Commentary:
Sandwich the drama of spelling tests with a juice box βππ₯€
I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone had a knack for naming things after natural phenomena while cozying up by the fire and daydreaming about cascading waterfalls ππ₯ Maybe they were just really into ambiance? Who knows, but let's raise a glass to their imagination and naming creativity!"
My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic 'hide-and-seek' technique: expert at hiding, pro at never seeking! π΅οΈββοΈππ
Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.
Commentary:
"Next step: adding 'song counselor' to my resume so I can congratulate artists on their masterpieces personally! πΆβοΈπ"
Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.
Commentary:
"Spiders out here living their best eight-legged lives, yet they still choose to crash at your place like distant relatives who never got the invite memo πΈοΈπ #HouseCrashers"
The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.
Commentary:
Heβs off to a warmer place, where the only chill comes from the ice in his tropical drink! π΄πΉβοΈ
It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.
Commentary:
"Make way for the shy criminal mastermind! πββοΈπ Just avoiding small talk, officer. π
#ShyGuyGotMoves"
Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.
Commentary:
"Taking 'sliding into DMs' to a whole new level of sophistication! ππ¬ #DMKing"