Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Live now on Messenger:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Just shared via Threads:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Making waves on Facebook:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Seen just now on Threads:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Seen just now on Threads:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Just landed via Telegram:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Just shared via X:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I'm just one smart cookie crumbling under the pressure! 🍪😅 #DietGoals"

cookie, craving, diet, feeling, food, food joke, humor, joke, snack, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

0

2 months ago

ask, bills, financial, getting, home, introvert, just, me, money, paid, responsibility, self-care, stay, stay in, worth
Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

0

1 month ago

celebration, early, eat, holiday, humor, idea, leave, once, only, party, people, right, Santa, snack, socializing, tradition, visit, year
In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

0

2 months ago

celebration, charles, Christmas, Dickens, holiday, honor, humor, i, irony, literary, literary reference, poor, reference
Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, again, high, high school, humor, i, independence, interaction, never, nostalgia, peak, people, realization, school, social, social interaction
Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

0

2 months ago

attractiveness, bro, gender, hairstyle, hot, humor, only, ponytail, woman, women
Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

0

2 months ago

death, hiring, humor, i, irony, joke, makeup, mortician, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Just shared via Twitch:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Shared recently on Threads:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Freshly posted on X:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Spotted on TikTok:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Shared recently on X:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Just shared via YouTube:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Just landed via Slack:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Spotted on WeChat:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨