Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

They’re making me do work at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Trending via Twitch:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Making waves on Slack:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Making waves on Discord:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Spotted on X:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Just landed via Messenger:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Making waves on TikTok:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Trending via Threads:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on Discord:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Classic Carl, always ruining a good flight. 😂💀🦗"

again, animal, animal defense, avoid, avoidance, behavior, dead, death, deaths, defense, dragonfly, fake, fake death, female, female behavior, girl, here, humor, mating, nature, own, play, ugh, unwanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, day, heating, heating pad, hour, humor, i, needs, pad, pain, tell
A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

0

3 weeks ago

better, calling, dating, girl, guy, hate, humor, insult, million, nice, nice guy, relationship, times
Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cancelling, cancelling plan, excited, excitement, free, free time, introvert, just, me, personal, personal time, plan, plans, self-care, social, social anxiety, time
I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

0

2 months ago

context, expression, feel, humor, i, imitation, just, know, mean, mimic, sound, voice
Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

0

2 months ago

annoying, conversation, God, humor, interaction, me, oh, response, sarcasm, ugh, wit, yes
Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, clothes, comeback, fashion, humor, sorry, style, trend, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

40 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

55 shares on X this month:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Spotted on Threads:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Seen just now on Reddit:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Spotted on Facebook:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨